


What's a God to a Nonbeliever?

by vanishedSchism



Category: Godsfall Podcast D&D Campaign
Genre: But they're not the main focus, Character Death, Featuring Baneswords!, Fohsa is the least shitty of Xion's brothers, Godsfall Fanbook Project, and, and ACTION!, the rest of the team shows up, there's violence but it's not that graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 12:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13458417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishedSchism/pseuds/vanishedSchism
Summary: Xion and Caitlyn confront their pasts. One more gracefully than the other.





	What's a God to a Nonbeliever?

**Author's Note:**

> I love Caitlyn so much and I really want to see her explore her feelings about Xion and his family. 
> 
> This is a love letter to her.

Xion looked at the orc village below them, trying to ignore the death grip Caitlyn had on his arm. She'd woken up and had immediately latched onto Xion begging him and Sirena to abandon their watch and check in on the village, but when Xion tried to ask her _why_ she just said, "we have to hurry." 

Sirena had taken the time to shake Rina and put her on watch, but even that seemed to be too much delay. Now that the village was finally in their sights, Xion hoped Caitlyn would explain. 

"Th-there are antitheots down there," she said, "I-I saw them." 

Xion felt his own back stiffen as Sirena glanced between him, Caitlyn, and the village in front of them. The village where their friend Uragon was trying to put together an army to raise against Vistrix. The village that, now that Xion was looking for it, had a lot more activity in the streets than there should be at this time of night. 

Xion made up his mind and pulled out his staff. "We need to warn Uragon and get him out of there." 

Sirena's lips pressed together and for a moment it looked like she was going to say something, but she decided against it. Caitlyn, meanwhile, had let go of Xion's arm and was already moving toward the village. Xion took a deep breath and followed her. 

It surprised him how many places there were to hide in such a small town. Not that he wasn't grateful, especially as he started to feel Caitlyn's anxiety. There were a lot more antitheots here than he'd been able to see from the hill. No horses, at least not that he'd seen yet, but soldiers swarmed through the streets all wearing armor so familiar it made Xion's stomach drop. He could only imagine how Caitlyn must feel right now. He'd managed to escape before his powers were noticed, but Caitlyn had actually been _taken_ , away from her family, from her home, for the magic she couldn't hide. It had to be hard for her to be here again, _leading_ him to her captors, even though she'd barely gotten away the first time. 

He turned to say... he wasn't quite sure, but he'd probably be able to come up with something vaguely inspiring on the spot, when he noticed something, someone, out of the corner of his eye.

 _Fohsa._

Xion had to quickly shut his mouth before he gasped and gave away their position. 

_What was he doing here?_

He was so close, Xion could have called out and he'd turn. The could have had an actual conversation and something in Xion burned so badly at the thought. He _wanted_ to talk to Fohsa, he realized. He wanted to explain why he'd left in such a hurry and what he was doing now. 

But Caitlyn had moved into the shadows of the nearest building and Sirena had her hand on her sword. 

Not to mention Fohsa would attack Xion on sight. He _knew_ that, he just wished he didn't. He held his breath as he watched his brother scan the area once, twice, and then finally move on, out of sight. 

He waited another second before turning to his companions. 

"We need to get back to camp," he said, keeping his voice pitched low so it wouldn't be overheard. "Together we can deal with this but with Fohsa here, the three of us just aren't enough." 

Xion looked around when panic flashed across Sirena's face. Where was Caitlyn?

"She left," Sirena said, fingers drumming on the pommel of her sword. "I don't know where." 

"I do. She's going to warn Uragon. That's why she got us up in the first place. Sirena, you need to get back to camp. We don't know how many antitheots are down here and there could be more in the hills. You need to warn our friends." 

Sirena nodded, slowly letting go of her weapon. "I'll warn them, you find Caitlyn." She hesitated for a moment then said, "and be careful." 

Xion closed his eyes and allowed himself a deep breath. "You too." 

Sirena nodded, then ran back toward the camp. She'd be fine, Xion told himself. She'd be fine. 

He, meanwhile, needed to find Uragon. And Caitlyn. Hopefully one would lead to the other. And he needed to move quickly. 

He ended up cutting down two antitheots (no one he knew, luckily) before he ran into his brother. 

As he raised his staff and the seekerstone on the hilt of Fohsa's sword glowed bright astral pink, illuminating the familiar black metal of the banesword and the look of hatred on Fohsa's face. It quickly changed to surprise when he saw who his sword was leveled at. 

"Xion?"

"Fohsa I-" Xion cut off when he saw his brother's attention flicker between himself and the stone. The surprise hardened to a familiar expression of determination. 

"I have to take you in," Fohsa said. "I'm not making an exception because you're my brother." 

Xion stepped forward, his own staff ready. "And I'm not going with you just because you're my brother. So the way I see it, we stand at an impasse." He tightened his grip on his staff to stop himself from fidgeting. He had to project calm and confidence. 

Fohsa didn't lower his sword. Xion hadn't expected him to. 

"So we fight," he said, his voice tight. 

Fohsa nodded seriously. "We fight." 

Fosha moved first, closing the distance between them with a two handed strike that would have cleaved right through Xion if he didn't push the sword away with his divinity. Instead of cutting him in two, the broadsword cut a deep scar in the ground, right next to where he stood. 

Xion hurried to throw a force shield between himself and his brother. 

Instead of focusing on tactics though, or thinking through the way Fohsa moved, he could only remember every blow that had felled him, every crack of the practice sword and every bruise it left. Fohsa was _better_ than him, that was inarguable. 

He believed, he _had_ to, when he was younger, that strength was not the end all be all of combat. That if you were smart, if you were _clever_ , you could beat a much stronger opponent. He had striven to be that person, to have the skill to one day beat his much stronger brother. He hadn't even gotten close before everything changed. 

Now though? He was a godling. He was more powerful than any mortal in the world. He fended off an army of orcs with his friends. A simple sword fight _should_ be beneath him. He was the strong one here. 

But Fosha was skilled. He was smart. He'd been trained to hunt mages. With so much on the line Xion couldn't just trust in his powers. And if there was one thing experience taught, it was that he wouldn't win this fight. 

He jumped over the sword Fohsa swung at his legs, but it was his shield that saved him from the elbow that otherwise would have slammed into his shoulder.

But he had the force shield and he was going to use it the the best of his advantage. He pressed forward, driving Fohsa a couple steps back, and brought his staff down in a two handed strike. 

...Like a person who didn't have _magic_ they could fight with. What was he thinking? 

Fohsa easily parried the blow but, to Xion's immense surprise, he didn't even try to riposte and take advantage of the opening Xion had shown him. Even with the force shield, Fohsa could have knocked him down with a blunder like that. So why hadn't he? It didn't make any logical sense and it felt ludicrous to be thinking about _logic_ while he was fighting for his life but it wasn't until Xion blocked a telegraphed sword strike that the pieces fell into place. 

"You're not trying to kill me," Xion said before he could think about it. 

"I don't want to hurt you," Fohsa said, taking a step back. 

_Me neither_ , Xion thought. "But you'll hurt my friends," he said as he stepped forward, "you would kill them without a second thought!"

"Xion don't-"

"So why am I any different? Father told us blood was important right? But I have _magic_ in my blood Fohsa. And I'm not going to forget that, or pretend it's not there or anything like that just to keep Father happy. If you didn't want to hurt me, you'd accept that. Accept me."

Fohsa's expression hardened and he raised his sword. "You know why I can't do that." 

Xion took a deep breath Fohsa’s answer hurt, but wasn't unexpected. 

"Then fight me" he said, throwing a force bolt directly at Fohsa's chest, "for real this time." 

Fohsa stumbled back, but didn't seem hurt by the blow. "FIND THE ORC!" he bellowed to the rest of the antitheots. "I'll deal with my brother." 

He charged forward, and this time he didn't hold back. The banesword cut through Xion's force shield without slowing down, and Xion barely managed to throw his staff up in time to block the blow. He pushed against Fohsa's sword, but it was clear who would win in a contest of strength. He threw a force blast at his brother's legs and barely managed to dodge the retaliatory blow. 

A blow that left Fohsa's side open for another force blast. Xion put enough power behind that one to actually knock his brother off his feet. He stepped forward, determined to press his advantage, though he truthfully didn't know how he was going to end this fight. 

He reached out with his divinity, but before he could grasp any part of Fohsa, his brother jumped to his feet with a sweeping kick that took Xion's feet right out from under him. Before Xion could move, Fohsa raised his sword with two hands and positioned it over his brother’s chest. Xion felt his skin part and blood soak into his shirt as Fohsa pushed down on the blade. 

Xion grit his teeth and tried to use the opening to reach out with his divinity and pull his brother's legs out from under him. But when he grabbed Fohsa's legs with his divinity, he couldn't move them, as if they were pillars of ironwood driven into the ground rather than armored legs. He pushed, but he just couldn't exert the force necessary to push Fohsa off his feet. His next force bolt barely phased his brother either. 

Fohsa raised his sword for a powerful two handed strike. The wound in Xion's side burned as he blocked the blow and his force shield started to flicker. His hands shook as he pushed his own mortal strength against his brother's. He hoped he'd given Sirena enough time to warn Pera and the others. He hoped Caitlyn managed to get away. He hoped Fohsa would kill him here instead of taking him back to Kadar. 

Xion dropped his staff and threw himself to the side to dodge the bane sword as it buried itself in the ground next to him. Fohsa pulled up his sword and turned toward his brother, but before he could strike another blow he was knocked off his feet by a massive black shadow. 

The shadow ripped through Fohsa without hesitation, tearing him apart in a blur of claws and teeth. Xion felt sick despite himself. 

He emptied his stomach next to his brother's corpse. 

When he looked up, he saw Caitlyn standing across the street, in full view of any antitheot who might look her way. The bright pink-purple astral energy that practically radiated off her body shone like a beacon that was already drawing antitheots toward her. 

As he watched, the bright astral energy peeled off her body and rapidly darkened into tendrils of shadow. As soon as they separated from her they wove themselves into huge shadow beasts, the size of horses but with no eyes and twice as many teeth. 

Caitlyn didn't move, but all of a sudden the shadows all took off at once, racing through the village and ripping through the antitheots in their way. They spread through the village like a plague, expanding into shadows when their physical forms weren't necessary to kill. 

It look less than a minute to cut through the stragglers. 

Suddenly, Xion could only assume at the death of the last antitheot, the shadows disappeared at the same time the light flickered out behind Caitlyn's eyes and she fell. Xion ran forward and only just managed to catch Caitlyn before she hit the ground. 

It struck him how light, how _small_ Caitlyn was. She felt like a bird, all fragile bones and points and uncomfortable to hold no matter how you tried to position yourself. The bruises from her captivity had mostly faded, but from what he'd seen, she didn't generally have much of an appetite and had yet to regain the weight she'd lost in captivity. Xion's stomach hadn't fared well through the night and realizing that his family did this, that he was _supposed_ to do this to Caitlyn turned the acid in his stomach. Before he could really examine the feelings _that_ thought brought though, Caitlyn began to stir. 

When her eyes first opened they were unfocused and there was a purplish tinge to the irises. But she blinked and the color was gone when her eyes focused on his face. "A-are they all dead?" she asked, her voice rough and small.

"Yeah," Xion answered, trying not to think about his brother's lifeless eyes. "You saved my life." 

Caitlyn's lips turned up in the smallest smile. 

"Mine as well," Uragon said, walking up the street toward them. He was injured, bleeding, with arrows jutting from his shoulder and favoring his right leg but he was grinning. "Thank you." 

"They deserved it," Caitlyn said before she grabbed ahold of Xion's shirt and curled into his lap. “‘Sides,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt, “I owed you a favor.” 

She was asleep long before Sirena arrived with the rest of their friends.


End file.
